Preventing Forest Fires

1 John  1:9 - "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Before marriage, the bachelor life takes a heavy weight on a man's soul.  Past relationships, past regrets, and just simply the past has that painful ability to rise up and pull you under.  After all, Satan is the Accuser. My first year of marriage was a rocky one.  A lot of it was due to girls I had previously been in relationships with and even ones I simply talked to.

The moment my wife and I even started dating, past relationships tried to bug our relationship.  Even for my first birthday after my wife and I married, I received a, "Happy Birthday, sexy!" from some girl I danced with on the cruise ships.  There were guys trying to mess with my wife.  Guys she never even had any involvement with.  This is how people are.  This is how the world is.  Because of the rise in divorce, people seem to have the "They are married but they are still available" mindset.  

The world always promotes "Unity" yet does all that it can to destroy marriage.  I had a strong addiction to pornography starting young in middle school.  I picked it up simply by watching a Disney Halloween Original movie called, "Underwraps."  In this "children's' movie" while riding bikes, a girl tells some boys that she sleeps in the nude.  After that, I fell fast, all through high school. You've got Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, "Laker Girls", Wrestler girls.  It's everywhere!  And this is where the destruction starts; at a young age, before one even begins to think of marriage.

The other struggle is that constant New Age obsession with love that Disney promotes from Aladdin to The Little Mermaid.  That obsession that says you have to find that "perfect soulmate" and live "happily ever after."  Aside from that, you have the media with bad news of divorce.  You have war, school, and the industrial revolution that have completely ripped the family system apart.  You have all these things pulling and pulling and pulling.  Then you have college which was specifically designed to "enlighten."  And even before you go, you have people saying, "you know there are a lot of girls trying to get their MRS. degrees."  That push is heavy.

And so after the many relationships that have taken a toll on the soul, I finally found that woman willing to be with me for life.  And the hard struggle of my first year was getting rid of all the materials that had any small thing to do with my past relationships.  I would sometimes fight for my right to have them.  For instance, a wall hanging that I got from a past girlfriend.  There was a domino set that had ties to another girlfriend that for the longest time, I never told my wife about.

We are at 3 and a half years of marriage now and I tell you, we have had our fights.  I'd like to propose a question:  what fight would you like to avoid?  Just like Smokey the Bear says, "Even you can prevent forest fires," even you can prevent certain fights from ever happening.  That wall hanging:  what good did it do me?  It was something material but yet it represented somebody no matter how much I said it didn't.  And the dominoes;  for as long as I had them, it reminded me of why I have them and they represented somebody else.

We need to realize that everything we have ever obtained, owned, or come across represents something in our lives.  Just as scars are considered, "the road map of the soul," so does anything you tangibly possess represent a moment in your life.  Whether it be a picture, wall hanging, clothing, movie, a location, or anything else, it represents a piece of the story of your life.  And while everybody loves knick-knacks to tell their story, it's unnecessary because the story, if important enough, will always be remembered when it is time to teach or lead others.

So, in order to prevent certain fights, knowing that there will always be other things to fight about, one step is to clean out your closet.  After a big relationship before my wife, I was getting too burnt out, so weighed down that I was fed up with Kansas itself.  That is the greatest reason why I left First Baptist Church:  not because they were planning on hiring a new pastor but because I just needed to breathe.  And so, I went back to the cruise ships.  Probably not the best place to go but the Lord always calls His children back where they need to be at the time He needs them.  It just so happened that He used my wife for that purpose.

If I would have given the wall hanging away and if I would have deleted all the girls on Facebook that simply don't matter; if I would have thrown away the dominoes, it would have saved me from at least 50% of my fights.  But after thinking we have made up our minds about our "rights", it takes a lot of breaking down the walls of stubbornness to be remade.  The philosophy of man is that we build ourselves.  The Truth of God is that He rebuilds us.  We couldn't have that power.  We don't have the strength.

Today, you hear of affairs that have occurred because either the husband or wife put out too much information about their relationship to past friends.  And those so called, "friends" will try to be the comfort.  They cannot and should not be your comfort, especially if your spouse doesn't have an equal relationship with them.  Your spouse, the one you fight with the most, should also be the one you comfort the most.  That is how we were designed.  That is how we are humbled, should we let our pride fall.  And, that is how we learn compassion.

I used to believe I understood love even during my previous relationships.  But love is just as we vowed, for better or worse.  And I love my wife.  What I do to humble myself for her doesn't mean I worship her but it means I respect her.  We don't just play house.  All those worldly things that don't matter shouldn't be even close to her ranking in my life.  So in our age where there are so many stumbling blocks, you can call me old fashioned but there are just some things we need to rid ourselves of.

Now, we have deleted old friends and gotten rid of those things of the past.  We have even created a joint account on Facebook.  God is leading us to grow closer together.  That was His plan from the beginning.  We still have our fights and disagreements but I'm so glad we came to agreements on issues such as these.  I am so blessed to have a wife who is willing to seek God as deeply as I do.  A wife that I can talk to and I can trust that whatever I say, good or bad, she will keep it behind closed doors.  And we can trust each other that no matter what the topic is, we will work on not exactly who is right but what is right.

I used to think my parents were overprotective but even I, I believe, am even more protective than them because I know the outcomes of not being careful what you see, hear, or do.  So, in that sense, thank you to my Father & Mother for doing their best, being just as human as I and only knowing so much, for trying to protect me from the traps of this world.  What I have to work on at this current point in my life is compassion.  Thank you, my wife, for forgiving me of my stubbornness and standing in faith with me through the many stormy seas we have traveled.  Thank you, Lord, for forgiving my pasts and delivering me from so many strongholds.  Please give me an overflowing kind of love.  Amen.

Blessings, Miracles, & Discipline

Last night, my family relaxed to the movie, "Indescribable" which is the story of how the song, "The Love of God," came to be.  The underlying message throughout was to, "Feel God, Know God, Understand God, and have Strength in God."  Luke 10:27 - "And He answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself."

One way to better understand God, is to be a Father, as He is the ultimate, sinless Father.  This morning, as I was picking up my baby boy, my 2 year old girl, was crying for me to pick her up, as well.  At that point, I began to think how I wasn't going to spoil her and give in.  I came to a conclusion about God.  

I confess that sometimes I am a bit envious when I hear of miracles that have happened to others.  
1 Corinthians 1:22 - "For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom."  I have prayed all my life for a "miracle" to witness; something spectacular that would just amaze me.  You hear of a man who was nearly dead who was miraculously revived.  You hear of those who were sick and were suddenly healed.  I believe in the power of miracles.  When I was in high school, I would lay in bed and wait for an angel to come and visit me, or something.

It's clear to me that God must carry those who simply can't walk.  My family and I have been placed in many circumstances where we have needed to live by faith alone.  Had we no faith at all, we would have severe troubles.  Before marriage, I found my toes dipping into the flood of deception.  When you lack faith, you begin to accept worldly things as a "temporary fix".  And it doesn't have to be "alcohol" or "cussing".  It can be something as simple as TV or food.

Even though, I was becoming more "philosophical" minded than True "Truth-minded", I still had a bit of faith and believed there was way more out there.  Those who have even the faith of a "mustard seed" can indeed walk.  And, even though, they fall and can be tripped by the many stumbling blocks laid out before them, they have the faith to continue the race.  After much practice, and much falling down, eventually the hurdles can easily be jumped over, given the proper conditioning and preparation.

Then, there are those who simply haven't learned how to walk yet.  And what do they need sometimes?  They need to be carried.  They need it more than my family and I who sometimes just need to measure ourselves up to the Word of God; that Word by which we put our faith.  To those who lack faith or simply don't know what to believe, miracles give them something to hold on to.  The philosopher would tell you that it's "beginner's luck" which was designed to give you a "taste" so that you will strive for more.  But, luck, is simply chance without anything greater behind it.  Luck and karma are all about what you do to be better off for yourself.  Miracles are not luck, they are blessings by the All Powerful One.  A blessing prepares you.  A blessing gives you hope when you had none.  A blessing is something big that you look back upon to remind yourself why you ran the race in the first place.  

In the light of this understanding, I have had miracles.  When I was a child, I was hit by a car and ended up with mere scratches on my back from the pavement.  I remember telling people that, "God caught me."  That was my blessing and my reminder that He is there.  That's my reminder that He was always there.  

We spend our lives playing "hot and cold" trying to find God.  Sometimes we get super hot and then walk by and begin to grow colder.  And even though we are playing that game, as long as we are still seeking the "True Word" we carry the faith we need to prosper.  When we grow stronger in our faith, we don't need signs and wonders.  Ironically, the deeper you dive into that faith, the deeper you discover that there are miracles all around.  There are signs of God's presence, everywhere.  Romans 1:20 - "For the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse."

So, sometimes you have to carry the child that can't walk yet.  And even though it feels unfair to make the other child walk, it is not because there is no love; it is because they need to walk on their own.  And sometimes, that child will fall and scrape her knee.  So, then will I pick her up and carry her.  If I only pick her up every time she cries, she doesn't mature.  Raising up a child starts at the moment they are born.  Now sometimes, I confess I can be too harsh.  If I strive to be like our Father in Heaven, I can obtain the mindset necessary to train up my children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).  I pray that I can rise against my flesh and whenever I lead, whenever I father, I do it not in the order of man but, instead, in the order of the Lord.

Under Control

When I was a boy, I imagined what it would be like to run my own robot.  I imagined looking through the eyes of a gigantic robotic dog.  After some time driving the trains, I have, finally, realized that I am operating a robot.  It opens the doors when I push certain buttons, it sounds its bells when I press another button, and it reflects how I feel.  So, in essence, the train is just an extension of myself.

A few weeks ago, I watched The Cobbler.  This movie is about a man who discovers a machine passed down from father to father.  The man finds out that when he fixes shoes with it, if he puts them on, he will suddenly become that person in the flesh.  He still has his own thoughts but looks and sounds exactly like whichever person's shoes he steps into.  The catch phrase throughout is, "You don't know a person until you have walked in his shoes."

The premise, however, is a little darker when you realize that it is a movie about somebody's soul possessing another body.  This whole idea got me thinking.  Who is in control?  Is it a good spirit, a bad spirit, or simply weak and clueless, me?  Sometimes, I feel like it is so easy to start becoming numb to situations and when you become numb and empty, that is when danger takes a foothold.  I believe this is the way the enemy works on men.  First, the serpent tears down the wife, and then when the wife becomes confused or anxious, then the serpent freezes up the husband to where he is utterly useless.  It is an age old battle and there is nothing new "under the sun."

But I heard something in church this Father's Day.  Kind of a reminder:  Deuteronomy 6:5 - "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."  When you are numb, just how much might can one person contain?   That means, even when your back is up against the wall, you have to keep believing.  I used to think the last word in the passage was "mind" but no, "it is MIGHT."  It was no coincidence or a little utterance when we were given this charge.  We have to continue loving the Lord.  


Otherwise, we let the enemy control.  If you are unsure who is directing you at any given time, it is important to remember what Jesus said in Mathew 15:18, "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man."  Even though we are told this all of our lives, sometimes, we just keep missing the mark.  And Satan, being the accuser, causes us to remember how sinful we are.


That's where it is important to remember to "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:7)."  I am fully convinced that a lot of these pop stars and famous actors have been seduced by the works of the devil, and they have given themselves over to his demons. After the artist's first hit album or movie, those demons take over them if they have completely submitted.  A lot of these stars and actors are icons and "models" for people.  Children and adults alike are influenced daily by what they see.  And the more you try to say, "That has no affect on me," the more it actually does.  That is how the demons try to crawl into your life and my life.  And just like a flame, we easily pass them along from generation to generation.


But we are to resist the devil, however much he attempts to desensitize our thoughts, minds, and strength.  We are not to submit to the the demons of this world but we are to submit to God.  When we have no strength to move our arms, we should allow the Holy Spirit to move them and not the works of demons.  I have noticed that many cartoon characters in big screen movies always have an animal sidekick who whispers in their ear or makes a funny gesture to tell them what to do.  


You don't need an animal sidekick.  What we all need is to be controlled by the right Controller.  How we act, what we say, and where we go represents who it is that controls our flesh.  So men, be aware of those nights when you feel like just walking away.  That's exactly what Satan wants us to do.  He hates unity because our unity with our wives reflects the unity/communion between the church (the new Eve) and Christ (the new Adam.)  



"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." - Joshua 1:9


We are in a battle.  Let us fight on the right side!